For a very long time after college, I did not enjoy making art. I was getting too neurotic and self-absorbed about my level of creative productivity, and about proving myself to the rest of the world. It made me emotionally selfish, unhappy and uncreative. Instead of connecting with my friends and family, I was obsessed about getting something monumental done. Living life in this way, as many people eventually find out, has toxic consequences for the soul.

At some point during the time I was working in Japan, I made an unofficial pact with God or the universe: if there is a better way for me to be of use in this world that is not related at all to art, I will do it.

I went on a creative production hiatus.

That, and I finally learned how to meditate.

I'm doing more creative things now. I am drawing and / or writing every day. I don't care as much about having my own solo exhibition or illustrating the cover of a big magazine. More than anything, I want to always protect my ability to listen carefully for the idea or the story or the image that feels the most honest. When I bring the idea to the physical world, I want other people to feel that honesty, too.

This shift in perspective is healthier for me, and for the rest of the world. All I have to do is listen well. If I can do this, the rest will take care of itself. Honesty requires the least effort.

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I haven't been using my desktop Stickies for months. Just this morning, I resurrected the program and was amused to find these random notes that had listings such as books to read, music to download or ideas for future drawings or stories. Most of these are embarrassing or personal, but I will share the one that made me laugh specifically because I don't remember why or how I felt the need to write this idea down in the first place:

"Woman on a date with a two-headed man. Which head does she like better? What would it be like to be a two-headed man."

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I like the idea of a food pyramid for the brain. The apex of the pyramid would be Yahoo celebrity gossip and Cosmopolitan. The base of the pyramid would be good literature. Fruits and vegetables would be good news stories and essays. The meat and dairy would be interesting blog posts about cool stuff.

Going on a literary Atkins would make you dull.